In yesterday’s post I mentioned that Lukas fell down a flight of stairs at daycare. I walked in to pick him up on Tuesday and his wonderful daycare ‘mom’ looked at me and said, “You’re going to kill me.” I said, “No, probably not.” At the same time the possible scenarios of what could have happened ran through my head:
A haircut from one of the other kids? No big deal. He’s already as bald as they come.
He escaped and ran into traffic? He can crawl fast and he likes to climb, but I’m pretty sure getting out of the house is impossible.
She was quitting and we’d have to find a new place for Lukas? PLEASE NO. PLEASE NO. WE WILL PAY YOU MORE! JUST DON”T STOP DOING DAYCARE! PLEASE!
It turned out that one of the kids had accidently left the door to the stairs open and before she could grab him Lukas took his tumble. She felt terrible, but I wasn’t upset. Things like that happen. In fact he’s slipped on our stairs in his never-ending quest to reach the bathtub. Accidents happen. Kids get hurt. I don’t think that you can protect them from everything. I could certainly fashion a suit out of bubble wrap and never let Lukas leave our house, but chances are he’d still find a way to injure himself.
Every family is entitled to choose what is best for them. Early on in my pregnancy a friend asked if I planned to breastfeed and I told her that it would depend, we would do whatever worked for us. I didn’t want to make any firm decisions in advance. She told me later that she was so impressed and surprised by that answer. That everyone she’d ever asked had either said definitely yes or definitely no. I think what drove this approach, at least for me, was the fear of setting myself up for disappointment or frustration. I’d read enough to know that there are people who were adamant about natural childbirth and ended up being sad about their birth experience because they needed a c-section. Or the families who are against co-sleeping only to find that is the one way their child will actually sleep.
By rolling with the punches I’ve done things I’d never really considered, like co-sleeping. I didn’t feel guilty when I stopped nursing at 3 months. I completely enjoy making Lukas’ baby food. And we love Lukas’ daycare.
I was pretty sure Lukas would end up in daycare. I felt pretty confident that I would go back to work and like it once my maternity leave was over. I also tried to prepare myself for feeling like I needed to stay home with him, but that never really happened. The transition was made a lot easier because my sister was Lukas’ nanny for the first few months. but I didn’t expect to be so excited and happy about our current situation. Lukas loves it at daycare. He gets to play with other little ones and watch big kids. He is loved and cared for. He’s experiencing things that I wouldn’t necessarily do at home (she makes them pancakes or french toast EVERY DAY! I’m lucky if I make it out of the house with toast). Doing daycare works for us.
I like my job. My working provides us with more than just an additional paycheck. It’s helping us create the future that we want for ourselves and for Lukas. Finding balance is sometimes tough, but what needs to get done always seems to eventually. We’re incredibly fortunate that we have family nearby that is willing and able to help out whenever we need it. I am also lucky to work for a company that is very family friendly. Parenting is hard enough without putting pressure on yourself to live up to the (sometimes unrealistic) expectations of other people or even your own. I think the key to success is knowing yourself and knowing your kid and making your decisions accordingly.
Lukas’ First Day of Daycare, September 8, 2009