On Sunday you turned one. You spent the day surrounded by people that love you, people that have been an incredible support to your dad and me over the last year. Our house was bursting at the seams. We are so fortunate.
Two years ago you were a hope, a constant prayer. Now you are a running, babbling, grinning boy. And you are ALL boy. Anything you can get into, you will. It’s no surprise that your first word was “Go!” (or Gus, depending on the situation). From the first time you rolled over to the night you tentatively took your first three steps in your monkey pajamas, you have been on the move and we’re just along for the ride. You like splashing in the dog dishes, climbing in the dishwasher, sneaking up the stairs if there is even just a tiny opening and pounding on the computer keyboard. You’re finally showing an interest in books, but only if they have real pictures or moving parts that you can destroy.
I’m often asked whether you take after me or your dad. It’s a tough question to answer because you are such an equal mix of the two of us. There are days when I look at you and it’s like looking at myself in a mirror. You even have the same droopy right eye when you get tired. Then you laugh and it sounds so much like your dad with the high pitched yelp followed by the Muppet-like heh heh heh. But you are your own person too. Curious, energetic, determined, very independent and a constant source of comedy.
I am incredibly proud of the little person you are becoming. You fascinate me daily. You were stronger than your daddy and I put together when you were in the hospital for four days with RSV back in March. I have never been so scared, but you barely batted an eye while being poked and prodded and you managed to smile when we all needed it the most. When you started daycare I thought there would be separation anxiety, but you just jumped right into the fold and made yourself at home with a confidence I don’t posess at nearly 30. I’ve started having you help me make decisions when we’re out and about. I’ll hold up two items and you’ll look from one to the other and back again. Slowly, deliberately and then you choose with conviction. Sure, it’s been toys, t-shirts, placemats and cheese, but you handle it in such a grown-up way. I just love watching you and would love to know your thoughts in those moments.
I hope that as your mom I have the courage to foster your unique qualities and not try to make you fit any mold, even if that feels like the easiest path. From the beginning I’ve tried to focus on doing what worked for us, for you. I think that may get harder as you get bigger, but I can promise that I will always be your biggest fan and source of support. You bring so much joy to everyone around you and that has been my greatest happiness as a parent.
Thank you for an incredible year. My heart is bigger, my arms are stronger and life is brighter with you in it. I am so blessed that you are mine.